Did you ever wonder why anyone would want to go to a “black tie” event unless their dearest and nearest just passed on? And does “dress optional” mean you’ve been invited to a nudist colony’s grand opening? It could be embarrassing to show up in the wrong state of (un)dress.
There are two rules to observe before getting dressed for any occasion, and paying attention to them will take you a long way toward being “dressed for success.”
One: Know the territory. Find out the age of the crowd, their professions, and what the event is about.
Two: Find out if there is a “dress code.” Although dress and appearance have become more relaxed —sometimes to the extreme—we still observe today’s rules of etiquette when it comes to formal attire.
So let’s get to the nuts and bolts of party attire with a short dress code primer for beginners.
If the Invitation Says…
White Tie.
This type of evening means “full dress” in the ultimate traditional sense and is the most elegant of all occasions where tail coats and formal gowns are an absolute must. This event is mainly seen in the diplomatic arena, receptions, awards (such as the Nobel Prize) and other occasions of state, as well as very formal weddings. It’s glamour all the way.
Men don a black tail coat with silk lapels, white pique dress waistcoat (vest) with matching bow tie, white pleated dress shirt with wing collar and French cuffs, white gloves and top hat, black hose, black patent pumps (or plain black Oxfords) pearl or gold cuff-links and studs. It’s now acceptable to wear a gold wristwatch instead of a pocket watch.
Women dress in gowns made of any of the “glamour fabrics”—satin, brocade, sequin, lamé, taffeta, chiffon, and velvet depending on the season. Gloves, while optional, are “in.” This is the time to wear your very best jewelry, stoles, sheer hosiery and best pumps (matching the fabric to your dress). Hair and makeup ought to be elegant and understated. Nothing trendy, outlandish or frou-frou! Choose gowns that have modest bodice plunging necklines or styles that reveal too much of your décolleté; after all, at the dinner table, you wouldn’t want the croutons to end up down the front of your dress.
Black Tie.
A black-tie or gala event is an evening to remember and indicates a very dressy event and every aspect of this evening shouts “elegance.” Rules are strict and black and white dress reigns supreme. It’s the order for anything from opening nights; fundraising galas; celebrity openings or film premières.
For men, the tuxedo is the appropriate attire. The French call this kind of dressing le smoking.
For women a long evening gown is appropriate. Choose fabrics such as satin, silk, brocade, lamé, sequined, chiffon or velvet, depending on the season. Dressed-up separates such as a beaded top and flowing skirt also work. Pants are unacceptable. Add interesting jewelry, a great evening bag and a pair of shoes in silk, satin, or velvet (not patent). If in doubt about what jewelry to choose, wear pearls—they go with everything. Visit a salon for the finishing touches – makeup and an elegant hairstyle.
Black Tie Invited or Black Tie Optional.
Usually a formal, dressy affair, although the dress code is not as rigorously enforced as a “black tie.” I suggest to always err on the conservative side. In other words, play it safe. Men should choose a tuxedo, and I suggest women observe the rules for “black tie” attire listed above.
Creative Black Tie. This means the event is formal but with a trendy twist. The attire allows more fun and creativity. A classy, dark suit, pin-striped or plain, is okay for men. Women can wear tuxedo pants and silk halter top, a dressy sweater and long skirt, or a more upbeat, stylish evening dress. Hair and makeup can be trendier too.
Dressy Casual or Elegant Casual. Informal and relaxed but still stylish. Keep everything simple and subdued as you would at the office. Absolutely no denim or sweats. Men: choose suits to just a dress shirt and slacks. Women may choose elegant pants or skirts (knee length to long) dressy tops, sweaters or silk blouses. Keep hair and makeup simple.
Cocktail Attire.
No specific dress code. This could include a wide-ranging category from cocktail parties, open house parties, and dinner at a restaurant, theater, ballet, concert, or night club. Men, choose a dark suit and tie to sports coat and dress slacks. For women a knee-length dress (not long, formal), tailored trousers, dressy satin pants, casual skirts, dressy tops, beaded shells, and of course the little black dress. High heels are best, and don’t forget some fun accessories. Hair and makeup can be more relaxed and creative, too.
Dress Optional.
This is tricky and most difficult. If it’s an evening event, keep it sophisticated and upscale. Usually, anything goes except denim and sweats.
Attending an office party, don’t wear anything you wouldn’t wear to the office. Be discreet and don’t embarrass yourself. Men: Freshen up. Change into a clean shirt and an interesting tie. Shoes should be polished until they shine. Women, be quick-change artists: re-do your makeup, sweep your hair up and add a fabulous hair clip; put on a high-necked silk blouse; add a strand of pearls (very chic right now), strappy sandals or satin pumps and evening bag and you are set to step out after five in style.
